drugs again

maggie said that she believes zoe and i didn't know how to communicate about issues.
she said that she doesn't allow drugs in her house, or her car.
if she can get arrested for it, or would need to provide bail for someone else who got arrested for it, she doesn't want it around.
she said that having different standards on drug use for my friends and my girlfriend is ok because i'm trying to make a life with her. i'm trying to live with her.
i'm not trying to make a life with my friends.
she said that there were some drugs that really were only for religious use. paeoti was one she mentioned.
she said that if someone wants to use that she's ok with it, but it's not allowed in her house, or her car.

( Read more... )

being gay

group tonight was about building the support i will need to develop self- acceptance.
my therapist said that i seem to want to tackle the very large problem of my family not accepting who i am.
but that i need to start smaller by accepting that i am living in dc and dc is one of the most liberal cities in the world, and that my generation, and generations after me are more liberal and more accepting of gay people than my grandparents generation and my mother's generation.
michelle said that the group last week gave her a lot because she had a breakthrough that the world isn't going to change for us, but i can change how i interact with the world.
( Read more... )

and so i'm thinking about making other plans for christmas.
maggie said she would be here for christmas so i could spend it with her.
maggie also said i need to stop living my life in fear.
i think that can happen slowly, bit by bit, if i start reaching out to people, and letting them see me, and letting them know that i am gay so that they can accept me and want to meet my girlfriend. and then i would be able to share my girlfriend with my world and i would not be alone with my guilt and my shame and my embarassment about being gay.