(no subject)
Feb. 4th, 2011 08:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
outofsynchi am empty
and i am happy
and it is good to acknowledge that.
to not pass judgment on it, or expectation on myself for feeling a certain way.
i am empty
and that does not mean that i must not be happy
or that i must be sad
or that i must be anything
i am empty.
and i am happy.
it is enough
and it is everything
and it is.
compassion. understanding. forgiveness.
these are the three sides to my triangle
my three sides for development. improvement. growth.
and they are three sides of _od.
they are my emotional growth and they are my spiritual growth.
i've been thinking of them as separate
but the similarities are too close, the lessons too identical for my spirituality and my emotionality to be two completely different things
and maybe that's part of why spirituality has such a grasp on humanity.
it ties in to fundamental life principles.
i've taken my runes out again.
i've visited my tarot deck
i've recalled my life in church and the lessons they showed us there.
and in group i saw the pattern of a woman's life make her who she was
it gave me understanding and compassion for her bigger picture. in that moment i was kind to her and i loved her.
and in life, being able to see the larger picture of _od's patterns
being able to show compassion and understanding for the larger patterns in the world
is spirituality.
i've been wanting to expand my ability to recognize and appreciate the larger patterns of life into the rest of mine for a while
and only now is it dawning on me that i will be working on my own spirituality as i do it.
they were the lessons of life i learned at the feet of my YOU directors and leaders.
they were the lessons of love, and acceptance, and understanding, and compassion that i saw people living every day
and they were taught by people who seemed to live them
who seemed to understand my patterns and my life and give compassion to me for where i was at in my life.
my life is one big picture and i've been trying to only work on one part at a time
and even in my limited scope of what i was trying to do, i was still working on the bigger picture as a whole as well.
and maybe that's what the runes were telling me too.
some things are fate.
i cannot help but work on my life and improve how i am spiritually, socially, emotionally all at the same time.
even if i'm only focusing on one aspect in a given moment.
and working towards a goal of re-connecting will help me work on things that will make my bigger picture more colorful, more complete.
and i'll find undisclosed wealth in that picture.
even if i don't find the re-connection i started the journey for.
and i am happy
and it is good to acknowledge that.
to not pass judgment on it, or expectation on myself for feeling a certain way.
i am empty
and that does not mean that i must not be happy
or that i must be sad
or that i must be anything
i am empty.
and i am happy.
it is enough
and it is everything
and it is.
compassion. understanding. forgiveness.
these are the three sides to my triangle
my three sides for development. improvement. growth.
and they are three sides of _od.
they are my emotional growth and they are my spiritual growth.
i've been thinking of them as separate
but the similarities are too close, the lessons too identical for my spirituality and my emotionality to be two completely different things
and maybe that's part of why spirituality has such a grasp on humanity.
it ties in to fundamental life principles.
i've taken my runes out again.
i've visited my tarot deck
i've recalled my life in church and the lessons they showed us there.
and in group i saw the pattern of a woman's life make her who she was
it gave me understanding and compassion for her bigger picture. in that moment i was kind to her and i loved her.
and in life, being able to see the larger picture of _od's patterns
being able to show compassion and understanding for the larger patterns in the world
is spirituality.
i've been wanting to expand my ability to recognize and appreciate the larger patterns of life into the rest of mine for a while
and only now is it dawning on me that i will be working on my own spirituality as i do it.
they were the lessons of life i learned at the feet of my YOU directors and leaders.
they were the lessons of love, and acceptance, and understanding, and compassion that i saw people living every day
and they were taught by people who seemed to live them
who seemed to understand my patterns and my life and give compassion to me for where i was at in my life.
my life is one big picture and i've been trying to only work on one part at a time
and even in my limited scope of what i was trying to do, i was still working on the bigger picture as a whole as well.
and maybe that's what the runes were telling me too.
some things are fate.
i cannot help but work on my life and improve how i am spiritually, socially, emotionally all at the same time.
even if i'm only focusing on one aspect in a given moment.
and working towards a goal of re-connecting will help me work on things that will make my bigger picture more colorful, more complete.
and i'll find undisclosed wealth in that picture.
even if i don't find the re-connection i started the journey for.
