outofsynch | looking for my missing piece, looking for my missing piece

still need to work on being open and compassionate.
it's hard for me.
i'm ok for a little while, but eventually something happens and I slip into old patterns of response.
i stop giving
i stop paying attention to how i'm feeling or i stop caring about how what i say makes me feel inside.
i catch myself doing things different now.
the way i see things, or the way i react to what i see.
i catch myself being free, being open, and i enjoy it.
i miss it.
some things are so easy; just a mindset, a reaction choice, a thought.
and so profound at the same time.
sometimes i start to stop. and i start to judge or resist the movement of love.
and i have to stop myself again.
and accept the love, and the compassion, and the acceptance that i'm giving to people.
it makes me feel like a better person, and yet it's hard for me to accept that i'm doing it.

so i still need to work on this.
i need it to be something i don't question anymore. something i accept and do willingly, without restriction, and frequently.
i need to be open and compassionate and to stop being judgemental and resistant.
these are things i need to work on.