outofsynch (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
outofsynch) wrote2011-01-03 03:58 pm
outofsynch) wrote2011-01-03 03:58 pm
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i had a visit from my past last week and realized why i left it there.
the shell of a human i once was filled out and needs more from my relationships than before.
sadly, the relationship had not evolved as i, and left me wanting in several regards.
but i saw a bit of where i began in her. the black and white sexuality categories; the need to be surrounded by people from the same "community" i once felt I was obligated to.
and i am greatful that i have expanded out of that.
that "community" to me consists of humans, and not simply those that classify themselves as "gay".
and i am greatful that my life has expanded beyond the value of who wants to get in my pants and how many women i make out with. i am greatful that my life receives value from my friends, and coffee dates, gazing at the stars under a blanket, and watching silly tv shows with others.
I am greatful that i can laugh and dance, and see myself as a person, as a human, and not as a sexual object. i am greatful that when i need a hug, or a listening ear, there are people i can turn to who will listen and help me grow instead of tuning me out.
i am greatful for the life i have and have been building.
and i am greatful to have this chance to look at myself anew and appreciate the things i've grown into, and the shell that i've left behind.
to the reader who will never bother:
your "southern charm" is abrassive and rude.
people are not obligated to provide you with everything you want, and addressing them as though this were true embarasses me for you, and offends me when you direct it at me.
i find it quaint that you see yourself on a pedistal above me when it comes to this regard and say that i should "let you handle the talking" because I will offend someone with my mannerisms.
if ever i allow you to grace my premises again, try to see me as less of a chaufer to your whims and more as a companion that you want to spend time with and talk to.
and as a note on your observation skills:
the toilet seat goes down when you are finished. i shall assume you didn't hear me when i asked you to put it down in the beginning and defer to the following - if it is down when you go in there, and i make a point of putting it down every time after you leave, kindly take notice and put the effort into the action yourself.
the shell of a human i once was filled out and needs more from my relationships than before.
sadly, the relationship had not evolved as i, and left me wanting in several regards.
but i saw a bit of where i began in her. the black and white sexuality categories; the need to be surrounded by people from the same "community" i once felt I was obligated to.
and i am greatful that i have expanded out of that.
that "community" to me consists of humans, and not simply those that classify themselves as "gay".
and i am greatful that my life has expanded beyond the value of who wants to get in my pants and how many women i make out with. i am greatful that my life receives value from my friends, and coffee dates, gazing at the stars under a blanket, and watching silly tv shows with others.
I am greatful that i can laugh and dance, and see myself as a person, as a human, and not as a sexual object. i am greatful that when i need a hug, or a listening ear, there are people i can turn to who will listen and help me grow instead of tuning me out.
i am greatful for the life i have and have been building.
and i am greatful to have this chance to look at myself anew and appreciate the things i've grown into, and the shell that i've left behind.
to the reader who will never bother:
your "southern charm" is abrassive and rude.
people are not obligated to provide you with everything you want, and addressing them as though this were true embarasses me for you, and offends me when you direct it at me.
i find it quaint that you see yourself on a pedistal above me when it comes to this regard and say that i should "let you handle the talking" because I will offend someone with my mannerisms.
if ever i allow you to grace my premises again, try to see me as less of a chaufer to your whims and more as a companion that you want to spend time with and talk to.
and as a note on your observation skills:
the toilet seat goes down when you are finished. i shall assume you didn't hear me when i asked you to put it down in the beginning and defer to the following - if it is down when you go in there, and i make a point of putting it down every time after you leave, kindly take notice and put the effort into the action yourself.