wants

i want to go to playa del fuego with her.
the night we were breaking up she was telling me about her experiences there.
about the self-expression and the love and the appreciation and i wanted to go.
i wanted to be a part of it.
and she was breaking up with me.

but i want to go.
i want to have that part of my life again.
i haven't had something like Y.O.U. since I left and i've missed that part of my life.

i also haven't given zoe a chance to meet that part of me and i think she needs to.
going to this would be the easiest and surest way to introduce her to the deepest part of who i am. the part i hide, and that i have spent time being ashamed of.
the truest nature, and the hardest to show.

i haven't let her get to meet me.
i haven't let myself be me in a while.

they have another conference next year, and i want to go.
i want a lot of things right now.

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