Oct. 31st, 2010 02:01 am
outofsynch: (Default)

well, this turned into an interesting list. 131 total tracks, and I'm missing some that  Ireally wanted to add. namely "sweet dreams" by the eurythmics, "silent legacy" byMelissa Etheridge, and some songs by Godsmack.
the play time is 8:39:39.
I don't think I have enough cd's to burn this.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do at this point....I put together a "condenced" versionthat basically took out several of the songs most people know I like and that dropped it down to 97 tracks and play time of  condenced somemore...5:27:13......I think it's the copleand symphony (the 'beef it's what's for dinner'theme :D ) more copeland, melissa is dropped (I don't have a copy of silent legacy anyway and that's still my favorite song), cut other artists down to the one song i want to keep, i took out tchekovsky's violen piece because it's mostly something i sleep to, and a few more cartoon theme songs (it's not like i don't have a cd with 23 on there.....3:48:15, which means I can at least burn it now and I kept the songs most people never would have heard of in the first place, and a few songs you can't get anywhere except the demo album I own.
I never got the tango pieces on there either - my cd player wouldn't detect the disk as a working thing, ah well.

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Oct. 28th, 2010 07:52 am
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music is important to me. it speaks to me and touches my soul.
the things that i like, i like because they have touched me in some way.
they filled a need or a voice that I had in my life and wasn't filling myself.
that's why music is so personal to me.
and why it's so hard for me to hear criticisms of what i like to listen to. songs that make me smile, that make me remenise, that make me whistful, that make me dance, that make me proud, that make me defiant, it's hard for me to share with people because sharing opens me up to their critiques. it also opens me up to their acceptance, but i've been afraid of the criticisms too much to be open for acceptance.

i have cd's and songs i won't listen to if people are around. i'm ashamed of what i like.
and i have songs that i quit listening to when zoe and i got closer because she criticized them, even if she didn't criticize me. it made me feel like my taste wasn't as good as hers, like i wasn't refined enough to have the same low opinions of them or hear how they were failing to add to the world of music.
it hurt. and so i tucked away my likes and the things that made me smile, and i put away another part of myself.
and i didn't say anything.
how do i stand up for something that i'm barely strong enough to admit i have?

so i want to make her a cd of the things that i like. the songs that speak to me. maybe it will help her get to know me so we can start a conversation and re-build our relationship.
i know there are other things going on in all of this, but she gets to decide what's important to her and where she's willing to bend as well. the only thing i can do is hope that she thinks this is workable too and hope that the points i'm coming to are acceptable and respectful of her as a person and an artist.
the only thing i can do is hope.
and make a song list of my deepest secrets.


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