i've been writing again.
let me know how this reads as a spoken word. I've got Ani in my head with her rhythms and intonations as it moves.
the effort of pushing this mountain of my mind that just won't bend was too much in the end
and i have fallen into the blissful numbness of emotional outer space.
i feel like i've let you down somehow
like i should be able to bend and not break
like i should be able to give this to you when there seems to be so much at stake.
but i couldn't,
and i can't
and the question becomes what do we do now?
the end just becomes the next step to move forward on,
and things that i needed in the beginning don't seem so sound now.
but what i need, and what you need,
seem to be on different plains
and given what has changed,
or not changed,
the vaccum of our future hangs
how we will fill it.